When Tamsin Field skydives 15,000 feet above Honiton this weekend, she will be thinking about her son Oscar, who was born sleeping in February.
Tamsin, who lives in Totnes with her 11-year-old daughter, Amelia, and six-year-old son, Archie, is taking to the sky on Saturday 12 October to raise money for Torbay and South Devon NHS Charity, which helps to improve and enhance the care provided to people in hospital and the community.
The charity skydive takes place during Baby Loss Awareness Week (09-15 October) and Tamsin hopes the event will help people to feel comfortable to talk about maternal bereavement and baby loss, which affects around 4,500 babies a year in the UK.
Tamsin learnt that her beloved Oscar had died during a private gender scan. “I knew something was wrong as soon as they switched the monitor off,” she said. “I felt numb. Nothing prepares you for the loss of your baby and being told that they can’t see a heartbeat.”
She was referred to Torbay Hospital’s bereavement suite where a second scan confirmed that Oscar had sadly died.
She said: “The midwife was so kind to me and told me that I would need to return to the hospital after the weekend to deliver Oscar.
I took some medication to prepare for the birth and went home to look after the children. It is such a taboo subject, and I didn’t know what to expect. I was petrified going in, but Anna Stewart, the bereavement midwife, was incredible and said she would help me to get through it. She has this incredible presence and called Oscar by his name and talk about him as if he was any other baby on the maternity ward, which meant so much to me.”
Tamsin spent three weeks visiting Torbay Hospital’s maternity bereavement room, a private suite with a double bed and bathroom where families can spend time with their baby until it’s time to say goodbye. She was supported by bereavement midwife Fay Martin, and Anna who helped to create memories of Oscar by making prints of his hands and feet and taking photos of Tamsin and her son, which are now stored in a special memory box in Tamsin’s home.
She said: “I was able to bond with him, and cuddle and doze together, which was important in my healing process. My time with Oscar was so precious and Anna made sure everything was peaceful when I was with him.
“Nothing was ever too much trouble for Anna and Fay and knowing that Oscar was safe with her when I couldn’t be there meant everything to me. They made an unbearable situation bearable, and I will treasure those moments for ever.”
Tamsin has raised a staggering £3,178 ahead of her sky dive to buy a new cuddle cot which allows grieving families to hold their baby in their arms.
She says: “It will be an emotional day, and I will be thinking about my precious Oscar. This is Oscar’s legacy and I’m doing it to keep his memory alive and to help make such a tragic time a little bit easier for anyone else who loses their baby.”
Anna Stewart said: “Around 45 families in Torbay and South Devon suffer the heartbreak of losing their baby before, during or shortly after birth, and we work hard to make sure they are supported and receive compassionate care at this tragic time.
“We are incredibly grateful to Tamsin for all she is doing to raise money to support other people whose babies have sadly died.”
You can sponsor Tamsin at Donating to Torbay and South Devon NHS Charity (donorfy.com)
If you have experienced the loss of a baby, you can get support and advice from the Sands helpline – 0808 164 3332, email helpline@sands.org.uk or visit www.sands.org.uk
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