Sorry it’s been a while I’ve been away to Cornwall with my family which was great but it’s really taken its toll on my health, the thing is I’ve learnt that in order to have enjoyable experiences you have to accept that chronic pain and exhaustion will plague you for weeks even months afterwards, for me personally I live for happy and memorable experiences and the pain ect is worth these precious times.
Having a diagnosis of fibromyalgia as well as M.E was actually a eureka moment for me I was fed up of not knowing what was going on. My doctor changed my medication and gave me a information leaflet to go away with neither of which was actually very helpful my new drugs turned me into a zombie unable to function and my symptoms remained but I was told to stick with it and things would improve.
Eventually the side effects from the medication along with my usual symptoms became unbearable and I was back in front of the Dr again fighting for something, anything that would improve my life other than zombie inducing drugs but my cry’s for help fell on deaf ears and I left feeling like I was being unreasonable and asking to much. It’s unbelievable that most people with the same diagnosis are made to feel like this and with medicine being as advanced as it is that little is still known about fibromyalgia or M.E. to help those sufferers.
At this time I was taking 28 tablets a day all of which did little to suppress my symptoms, these became my darkest days my pain was completely unmanaged and energy was non existent just getting out of bed was an achievement. My family and friends lives were ticking along nicely with holidays, evenings out, working, spending time with there loved ones and just living. I felt non existent, useless and beginning to think that if life was to be this painful then what was the point in living at all. This went on for over a year how can someone be in so much pain and not die? It was incomprehensible, my partner and children were now helping me dress and helping me to the toilet as well as in and out of bed. Lying there one day in agony wondering if this was it for me just lying here depending on my family, I couldn’t let my life be ruled by this cruel illness and I didn’t care if it killed me I would get up and never return to my bed in the day again.
So here I am 2 years on, I can’t tell you how hard it has been but it’s been worth it I spent every minute researching doctors in my area and finding the best possible care I could, I found a new Dr whom knew about fibromyalgia he took me off all 28 tablets and replaced them with just 2 that would relive my symptoms for the first time in 6 years! I went to see a pain psychologist that taught me how to live with my symptoms and I began regular treatments of reiki an alternative therapy which was soothing to my soul as well as my symptoms. The combination of treatments and sheer willpower and determination was allowing me to begin a new journey full of hope and promise.
I have just completed a year’s course in Art and design at collage which I passed with distinctions allowing me to start a degree in Illustration Arts in September! I still have flare ups and persistent symptoms like IBS and lack of energy but I am living and not letting my illness take over my life.
I honestly could not have been were I am now if it wasn’t for the strengths of my partner and children they have been amazing through all of this and I can never thank them enough.
I hope this blog has given you an insight to someone living with fibromyalgia and M.E , were not lazy or trying to scrounge off the state we are people who have been dealt a very rubbish hand and just want to live a normal life with the same amount of dignity and respect that everybody is entitled to.
Thanks for reading.