I sat around for a few weeks feeling sorry for myself, not my usual style but I felt entitled, angry, worried about my future as well as exhausted. All the stress was making my symptoms far worse so I resolved I needed normality, so back to work I went with a determination I had never felt before M.E what M.E? I loved my job caring for others I certainly wasn’t about to Jack it all in because in doing that I was admitting defeat.
All I remember about this time was working and sleeping as well as trying to love and care for my family and it did last a while probably about 6 months before my body was screaming at me to stop. I tried so hard to ignore it but I felt beyond exhausted my legs felt like they were dragging behind me while walking, my memory was getting so poor I couldn’t remember simple pieces of information from one moment to the next and I had a new symptom .
I began to ache, it’s hard to describe what I mean and every sufferer has said the same. I had never felt anything like it, it was a slow burning dull ache that felt deep within my muscles and joints. I just couldn’t go on like this. surely there’s some kind of medicine that can just sort it out?
Back to the doctors I went, I was prodded and poked had blood taken but my doctor actually said “Kate I don’t know what else to do with you” So I was signed off work for 2 months and given ibuprofen and told to rest. Not what I was hoping for and what an earth was I going to do for 2 months? I am certainly not the type of person to be sitting about I always feel like something needs to be done so as well as actual symptoms I now have frustration and boredom to contend with. I concluded that I had to do what I was told I mean 2 months is worth sacrificing if I am going to feel better then I can get on with my life.
Unfortunately resting didn’t help the situation in fact by the end of the two months I was worse far worse. Sitting for a time made me stiff and uncomfortable, walking was getting increasingly difficult. What is going on! Why is this happening to me! emotionally I was dying inside.
I attempted to return to work a number of times lasting only a week or two I felt like I was letting everyone down, the people who had been so good to me. It finally came to ahead when I had been at work for a few hrs I had to walk to another client but my legs just wouldn’t budge I was in agony my pain was down one side, the tears were streaming down my face I was terrified I had had a stroke.
My diagnosis was Fibromyalgia a condition that goes hand in hand with M.E, I felt relieved finally a doctor knew what was wrong with me and I had all the hope in the world that I could be treated, how wrong I was. My nightmare was only just beginning.
Thank you for reading part 2
Kate
